Surrender

                                                       SURRENDER

I have been pondering lately about how surrender can come in waves. 

It is a minute by minute, day by day, week by week of letting go and giving it back to Jesus when a fresh wave comes and knocks us off our feet and our flesh wants to pick it back up and we have to surrender again what we have given to Him.

We surrender our flesh and let Jesus take over after failing and falling

We surrender our souls to the Savior over and over again when that battle that pulls and tugs us tosses us off our feet

We surrender our will to His when it is scary and we want to do what seems safe and easy

We surrender fears to him even though the world and the enemy scream hopelessness to us 

We surrender our doubts, crises, family, unknowns, hopes, failures, dreams, finances, marriage, and all things in between

We surrender as we wait and give up all, recklessly abandoning all our comfort and ease of walking in our own wisdom and timing and what makes since to this age

 

We surrender in the wait

I have found that waiting on Jesus can be one of the hardest things to surrender. It’s not the not knowing IF He will come through, it’s the not knowing how and when that will be; of what we will have to face in the unknown while we wait.  Do you think that is why there are such verses about waiting for us to cling to? Did Jesus know 2000+ years ago that we would have a hard time. Did He know my impatience and frustration for not having the road clearly highlighted before us even as HE willingly laid down all for us.
Did He know in my weakness that I would be frustrated because I said Yes to Him and then I had to wait? Did He know I was so stinking weak? 

Yes, He knew. 

Will He waste it-the waiting? 

No-He will build, refine, and strengthen me in the midst.

Will I forget this and double fist chocolate chips in my mouth out of stress-um..yeah

BUT He will love me anyways…even if my pants get a little tight or I become hormotional and get a little yelly…

I will SURRENDER and come back to Jesus and give Him the weight I’m trying to bare on my own.. 

You see, I know that HE is a good Father and is always waiting with open arms to envelope me in the best and biggest daddy hug there is, If only I surrender and choose to wait on Him instead of making a mess on my own. 

There is so much surrender that comes in waiting but there are so many promises that come too

“Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint .”

                        Why is waiting so hard? Why is it so hard to Be Still?

                      Are you waiting? Surrendering? Eating chocolate by the fistfull?

Jesus, teach us to be still and wait on you. Not just for a miracle or a word or even deliverance. But let us be still and wait because you are so much better than all else. Your presence is better than all the good things you bring. King Jesus, we wait and sit at your feet because we don't want to be anywhere else but in Your Love and Presence. ALmighty God, you are worth it all-the good, the hard, and the wait.

“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusted in Thee!”

Lord, stay our mind on Thee-no matter the season, hard, beating waves, gas prices, or tantrum toddlers. Your name is Peace and may Your name be always on our lips.

Idaho update-

In case you missed the theme in season- We are waiting. hahaha

We have just finished our house that we live in(besides a few touch ups when we move out. HELLO 7 kids) and have been watching the market in the northern panhandle region that we feel stirred toward.  The Lord has made some amazing connections to parts of the body and to people who have the same heart and call as us. We’ve had many words of encouragement and pictures and promises shared to us by the body we are around now. 

So we are taking all these words and encouragements and writing them on our hearts as we WAIT and SURRENDER for the Lord and trust His provisions. We have watched the market and even put bids on a few places but every time have kept our hands open to Him. We want more than anything what He wants for us.  He has protected us thus far. Ryan finishes his last job here sometime the end of July/beginning of August. So our plan is if nothing comes up before then to just drag our camper across the country and live in it until we get a place.

A few prayer request:

-That we would trust Jesus in the waiting. We are ready to go but not knowing if we are going to be living in a camper, a shack, or a house has been kinda nerve racking. The market is about 2-3x more expensive there than here.  So we are starting from the bottom but feel so blessed that we can start at all. He w
ill provide and He is worthy.  We just want to say “here am i, send me” but kinda feel like we need a place to land especially with our Circus following along.  Idaho doesn’t know what’s coming. 

-Our kids. I know that we are all counting the cost. One of the hardest things for me has been trusting Jesus to fill in the gap for our children and all they are leaving behind. They are a part of an incredible group of youth and body that they’ve grownup with, known, and loved all of their lives. Gosh I love these kids—Kids who love Jesus are such a sweet and pure picture of the body. Prayers for them as they walk out these transitions and grow in Jesus in their surrender. 

-Ryan is turning down jobs left and right here because we know the Lord has told us to move. He will be building the business from the ground up in Idaho(Lord willing) to support our family and ministry. This is like a crazy trust exercise. Prayers for provision, wisdom, and placement in this but we know God will work it all out for our good! He has gone before us. He is worthy. 

A Year of New Adventures!

A Year of New Adventures

If you are reading this it is because you’ve invested in our family. You are the Body and family to us; and we treasure you now and will for ages to come!

Happy New Year! Man, what a ride the past couple years have been. We’ve had our own share of hard and our own share of blessing along the way. I’m beginning to realize the hard is often times actually a blessing; or at least that the good Lord works it for our good in the end. We know this… “that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”—Romans 5:3-5

Which leads me to the purpose of this letter.  The Vandenberg's are saying “yes” to King Jesus in a new season of surrender.

Ryan and my heart is to serve the Body of Christ. We moved up to Kansas almost 14 years ago to “plant” a church. The Lord did a number on us and shifted how we would walk in this calling. We began our ministry of shepherding and loving the church that was already planted by King Jesus in El dorado, Kansas. The Lord begin to reveal purpose through our surrender as we began to have house church by welcoming the body into our home with a desire to be a safe place for people to come rest, retreat, and be rejuvenated in Jesus. 

As we began to grow in the surrender to King Jesus’ purpose for our lives, we began to pray about our desire to purchase land. About 5 years ago, while we were praying about our desire to buy land, the Lord spoke the word En Gedi to us. En Gedi is an oasis in the dessert near the Dead Sea; a safe place where you can draw life from the natural spring in the middle of the desolation of the wilderness. David sought refuge and hid from Saul in the caves near En Gedi. The Lord began to bring more clarity to the focus of our ministry and desire to buy land as we felt called to be an En Gedi to the Church.

Ryan’s heart and desires have always been to steward a piece of land for our family to homestead away from the chaos of the city. Our hearts have craved an En Gedi and that word from the Lord gave purpose to the longing in our hearts to buy land. So since that day about 5 years ago we have been praying for our En Gedi and asking the Lord where He wanted En Gedi to be. We’ve been around long enough to know that plans set apart from God’s purposes are just plans.  We want the plans and purpose the Lord has for us. 

In December, 2020 we had taken a trip to unwind after a particularly hard year (2020 am right?!?). On the way back from that trip Ryan was praying about En Gedi and he felt the Lord say that our En Gedi wasn’t in Kansas. What?! The shock! I mean, King Jesus brought us here 14 years ago and we assumed it was for good.  

Fast forward about 7 or 8 months, Ryan had been secretly praying all this time about where the Lord wants our En Gedi to be. I on the other hand was completely unaware that our comfortable world was about to be rocked. Kansas has become home and family and where the Lord has placed us in the body of Christ.

Well… Ryan begins to mention to me that he doesn't think En Gedi is in Kansas and asks me to pray about where it is. You see, he had been praying and to his surprise the word “Idaho” kept coming to mind every time he prayed. Ryan knew nothing about Idaho and was still in shock when he asked me to begin praying.  He laid a fleece before the Lord that if “Idaho” was really from Him, He would reveal it to me also. So Ryan starts asking me to pray about where our En Gedi is supposed to be. Me, being the good disciple that I am, answer by saying “No, I don’t want to move further away.” He gets serious and tells me I need to pray.  A little time goes by and he asks me if I had been praying. I immediately tell him no and in my snarky submissive way(Lord, have mercy) I say what? Is it Colorado? No. Montana? No. Alaska? No. (All the states  Ryan has mentioned wanting to move too in the past). Then I say, “Is it Idaho?” He answers, “No. Why would you say that?! Quit guessing; I want you to sincerely pray about it.”

So basically he lied. Such good disciples we are…

A week goes by and he asks me again if I have been praying about En Gedi. I say no. In all truth I just wasn’t ready to think about it, let alone pray about it. Ryan began to get frustrated and tells me how serious this is and that I need to pray about it. 

I look him dead in the eyes and I know… I just say, “It’s Idaho isn’t it.” 

I know.

I didn’t ask.

Our Father speaks even when we don’t know if we are ready to hear or listen. 

We both sit in shock with tears running down our cheeks. We are sober, a little in awe, and scared. We decide not to tell the kids just yet. Our oldest three kids know Jesus and we wanted them to hear from the Lord as well. So we lay the fleece before the Lord, again, together this time. We asked our oldest three, to pray about where our En Gedi was suppose to be. A few weeks go by and one morning I’m sitting on the porch with Emma and Eli. Eli starts asking me questions about how far way our En Gedi is. I tell him he needs to pray and ask the Lord. He then says just out of the blue, “Is it Idaho?” It stops me in my tracks and I ask him why he said that. Eli said it's just the first state that popped in his head. We call Ryan and then tell Eli and Emma not to tell Abby because we want her to hear from the Lord. 

So of course Emma and Eli immediately start quizzing Abby on if she could live anywhere in the world where would she want to live.  Abby starts naming states we have family in and then she pauses and says, “No, wait… If i could live anywhere i’d want to live in Idaho because it’s my favorite state!”

What in the actual heck?!?! 

Abby has NEVER told any of us this. She simply says she really likes mashed potatoes (Idaho is known as the potato state).

So there you have it. The Vandenberg's are moving to Idaho! We all blame Abby. No really, we all want to follow King Jesus. No better place to be, right?!

One thing the Lord keeps faithfully reminding me as I count the cost and my heart aches moving so far away from all I know and love most dearly, is that this time on earth is so short and temporary. We have FOREVER with Jesus and His Body in eternity. I have forever with you in eternity. Forever, guys! Forever! So the Vandenberg's of Kansas are going to lay down our bones where the Lord has called us too. We are sojourners in the hands of the Lord Almighty!

We laid many fleeces before the Lord and He has made it abundantly clear. So we are saying, “Hear am I, Lord, send me!” We absolutely covet all your prayers for continued wisdom, discernment, provision, peace and faith to remain steady, and strength from above as we move our family across the country. 

We took a little trip over Christmas Holiday and have discovered that Idaho is a masterpiece made by our God. We are going to have to stock up on the cold weather gear but the kids enjoyed all the snow.