Thursday, November 28, 2013

So much to thank Him for! (Sophi's story)

Been working on this blog for over a week, thought today would be a great day to post it! I am so thankful and blessed. Hope you all (ya'll=) have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

 So..i just looked and my last post was in february of this year...!??!! That is redonkulous! <--not at all a real word but i like the way it sounds in my head. I am less than a week post-pardon and it’s after 9. There are far crazier things that have come from my brain and yes albeit too often out of my mouth.(You should ask my husband) Sometimes, let’s just say my filter doesn’t register. Oh love me or you hate me=).  My life has been crazy to say the least, but really when the heck is life not crazy?     I think maybe back in middle school when I used to have time to write notes back and forth with my friends and put them in each others lockers. Some of us were really cool and had a notebook that we would pass back and forth. Yep, that was probably the last time that i was not busy. Welp.. glad everyone is doing ok. I actually don’t really know that but gonna hope for the best. XOXO  

Here is what’s been going on with the Vandenbergs since february:
-We found out we were expecting 
-Had Birthdays and kids turned 5,4, and 2.(Still can’t believe my mems is 5..sniff sniff)
-Celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary with the love of my life! XXOO Ryan took me to Oklahoma and we revisited all our courting spots and where he proposed. #Sweetest anniversary yet
-Went to Florida and spent 5 days at DisneyParks when I was 6 months pregnant in the hottest/busiest time of the year.(Don’t ask) I am, although, thankful for the experience.
-Got to see my big brother(T.J.) for the first time in like 3 years. XOXO
-Fell in love with Sushi(but only the kind that doesn’t have raw meat in it=)
-Got to call the poison control center for the first time(again, don’t ask=/) Thankful no harm done
-Started homeschooling in two different grades(pre-K and K) not too intense but different when you are doing 2 different curriculums. Loving it!
-Had baby Sophia Elizabeth Vandenberg, weighing in at 8lbs 1oz and 20 inches long
-Became a family of 6!

That about gets you caught least that is all i can remember now. We all know how pregnancy brain is and well lets just say my post pregnancy brain is worse. I felt led to share about my “season” of pregnancy with Sophi. We’ll start with a journal entry from before i had her.
October 21st, 2013

“I have found as a believer that each season that the Lord brings to our lives has great purpose and providence in its outcome. Whether the season brings storms, sunshine or snow, the end result is a well purposed plan the Lord has orchestrated for our lives. Without rain in the summer how would the earth and all its beautiful vegetation grow? Without sunshine how would its life spring up to its full glory? Without snow and colds of the winter how would the old die off to make room for fresh new life of the spring? 
Each season I’ve found in my life has had and still does have purpose and fruit that comes from it. Whether i see fruit come to life in that very season i’m in or if don’t see it until i have moved on to a different season, there is always purpose and fruit. 
This past season has been a hard, rough and stormy season but i can sense a shift in my spirit of the season to come. Good things that He has and will continue to bring to fruition. This doesn’t mean that the next season will be all rainbows and lollipops but i can guarantee and prophecy that i know there is good to come. The fruit is to come forth and my inner man rejoices and cries out, “ Worthy is the Lord God Almighty!”.
I am almost at the end of my pregnancy with Sophia. This pregnancy has been wrought with trials and testing and lots of ‘school room’ learning to trust in Yahweh.
From what started with fear of loosing her in the first trimester then to guilt of being blessed with another child when others were not or had lost their babies at different stages in pregnancy, turned to very real and dangerous complications inside my uterus, where all i could do was trust the Lord for Sophia's health, to being borderline in having pregnancy diabetes and finally being at the end and waiting to see her and know her. Sophia is in there and how the Lord has chosen for her to be made.”

(When i was about 24 weeks pregnant the doctor told me that they found a uterine band when they did an ultrasound. Uterine band is kinda like a rubber-band of nerves that stretches into sack and can attach to your baby. It can cause amputations of limbs or malformations and even death. The doctor did extra ultrasound but there was no way of really knowing if it had affected her until she was born. I remember asking him if he seen all her fingers and toes and he simply said he didn’t see them all from the ultrasound but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. We’d just have to wait and see.)

“The only thing I had was to trust that the Lord is covering her and does cover all my children with His loving care.
 I’ve went through different stages with all of this with the Lord. First i dug up all the lies and fears from the enemy, only to find myself when i wasn’t careful falling into the “pit” left over. I learned that i had to fill that pit that held my fears back up with the promises of the Lord. Slowly i began to fill that pit up with His promises. (Yes, the Lord knows whats best, Yes, the Lord is Faithful, He does love me, HE does love Sophia, HE is worthy, etc...) Then i realized that i was not having faith completely in His work and His will and was just waiting for this season to end. We knew we would love Sophi no matter how she was made and we knew that we would turn to the Lord for any challenges but i didn’t know how to give my fears to the Lord in the “waiting period”. The Lord had me in a very real classroom, He wanted my full heart to trust in Him and he loves himself enough and knows my need for Him enough that He allowed us to walk through this. Finally now at the end i finally feel like I’m ‘getting’ it and seeking to in the little time i have left till she gets here to surrender my heart to HIm.
This is what i know:
Sophia means Wisdom and Elizabeth means God is my oath. Both of these the Lord has sought after in my heart. Both these i have had to surrender to Him to teach and guide me. I have learned to not just ignore the season or any thoughts of Sophi but to speak life and promise over her....”

There were many more lessons that i received and am still receiving during this season than what is written but i think that the most important one was that i have a very real need for a Savior, a Father and a Friend and His name is Jesus. I need Him not just when things are bad and rough but also when things are going great and smooth. I need HIM. 

So Sophia Elizabeth Vandenberg has made her appearance into this world and guess what?!? She had NO affects at all from the Uterine Band. Praise the Lord, we would have loved her no matter what, but our hearts are full of His mercies for us. The whole pregnancy and all the way up to the end of having to be induced and nothing going as planned was a blessing...Not because my baby has 10 fingers and 10 toes and all her limbs but because my sweet King did this for me. HE loved me enough to have me walk through a season where i could trust in nothing but Him. The Lord showed me that though mans plans fail, He never fails. Though our hearts may grieve, He is always there. When we have nothing left but to hope in Him, we realize that is all we need.

I told Ryan that i feel like David, like i had been hiding in a cave crying out to the Lord for His mercy and strength to face the unknown on the outside. And now the Lord is commanding me to come forth from hiding and speak His name.. He grew Sophia (wisdom) in my cave and now i must come out and declare Elizabeth(GOD is my oath).

So there you have it..the story of Sophi. Life with 4 should be fun. I am still in the mommy zombie stages that i don’t really venture from my pajamas and robe much. My main goal right now is to protect Sophi from the over loving from her three siblings and get in lots of snuggles and loves from this sweet stage that goes by so fast. My cup truly truly runs over, friends, it really does.