Thursday, November 13, 2014

Happy birthday and Sophia's story

A year ago I was in the hospital with a new tiny newborn baby. I love that sweet terrifying new born stage. Sophia is one today, she is whole, she is a gift and i feel overwhelmingly thankful for her healthy delivery and life.  I was pondering these things in my heart and the Lord stirred in me a thankfulness for the darkness and hardness of the season in pregnancy with her. As I was praying and thanking the Lord, He gave me a sweet picture of that darkness and how that He had brought me through that dark period so that in the end His brightness will shine all the more. The darker the dark the brighter the light is when it comes. Like coming out of a cave and the sun is almost blinding.
I pray that if you are in a what seems a dark season that your faith would stay hold on Jesus. Even in the dark cling to Him and when that light shines again you will see His face like you never have before.

I wanted to repost the testimony of Sophia today on her birthday.<I can't believe my baby is 1!> My God is faithful and worthy of praise always. Wherever I go may I never be ashamed of testifying of Jesus and how good He is.

SOPHIA'S STORY(blog entry)
October 21st, 2013

“I have found as a believer that each season that the Lord brings to our lives has great purpose and providence in its outcome. Whether the season brings storms, sunshine or snow, the end result is a well purposed plan the Lord has orchestrated for our lives. Without rain in the summer how would the earth and all its beautiful vegetation grow? Without sunshine how would its life spring up to its full glory? Without snow and colds of the winter how would the old die off to make room for fresh new life of the spring? 
Each season I’ve found in my life has had and still does have purpose and fruit that comes from it. Whether i see fruit come to life in that very season i’m in or if don’t see it until i have moved on to a different season, there is always purpose and fruit. 
This past season has been a hard, rough and stormy season but i can sense a shift in my spirit of the season to come. Good things that He has and will continue to bring to fruition. This doesn’t mean that the next season will be all rainbows and lollipops but i can guarantee and prophecy that i know there is good to come. The fruit is to come forth and my inner man rejoices and cries out, “ Worthy is the Lord God Almighty!”.
I am almost at the end of my pregnancy with Sophia. This pregnancy has been wrought with trials and testing and lots of ‘school room’ learning to trust in Yahweh.
From what started with fear of loosing her in the first trimester then to guilt of being blessed with another child when others were not or had lost their babies at different stages in pregnancy, turned to very real and dangerous complications inside my uterus, where all i could do was trust the Lord for Sophia's health, to being borderline in having pregnancy diabetes and finally being at the end and waiting to see her and know her. Sophia is in there and how the Lord has chosen for her to be made.”

(When i was about 24 weeks pregnant the doctor told me that they found a uterine band when they did an ultrasound. Uterine band is kinda like a rubber-band of nerves that stretches into sack and can attach to your baby. It can cause amputations of limbs or malformations and even death. The doctor did extra ultrasound but there was no way of really knowing if it had affected her until she was born. I remember asking him if he seen all her fingers and toes and he simply said he didn’t see them all from the ultrasound but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. We’d just have to wait and see.)

“The only thing I had was to trust that the Lord is covering her and does cover all my children with His loving care.
 I’ve went through different stages with all of this with the Lord. First i dug up all the lies and fears from the enemy, only to find myself when i wasn’t careful falling into the “pit” left over. I learned that i had to fill that pit that held my fears back up with the promises of the Lord. Slowly i began to fill that pit up with His promises. (Yes, the Lord knows whats best, Yes, the Lord is Faithful, He does love me, HE does love Sophia, HE is worthy, etc...) Then i realized that i was not having faith completely in His work and His will and was just waiting for this season to end. We knew we would love Sophi no matter how she was made and we knew that we would turn to the Lord for any challenges but i didn’t know how to give my fears to the Lord in the “waiting period”. The Lord had me in a very real classroom, He wanted my full heart to trust in Him and he loves himself enough and knows my need for Him enough that He allowed us to walk through this. Finally now at the end i finally feel like I’m ‘getting’ it and seeking to in the little time i have left till she gets here to surrender my heart to HIm.
This is what i know:
Sophia means Wisdom and Elizabeth means God is my oath. Both of these the Lord has sought after in my heart. Both these i have had to surrender to Him to teach and guide me. I have learned to not just ignore the season or any thoughts of Sophi but to speak life and promise over her....”

There were many more lessons that i received and am still receiving during this season than what is written but i think that the most important one was that i have a very real need for a Savior, a Father and a Friend and His name is Jesus. I need Him not just when things are bad and rough but also when things are going great and smooth. I need HIM. 

So Sophia Elizabeth Vandenberg has made her appearance into this world and guess what?!? She had NO affects at all from the Uterine Band. Praise the Lord, we would have loved her no matter what, but our hearts are full of His mercies for us. The whole pregnancy and all the way up to the end of having to be induced and nothing going as planned was a blessing...Not because my baby has 10 fingers and 10 toes and all her limbs but because my sweet King did this for me. HE loved me enough to have me walk through a season where i could trust in nothing but Him. The Lord showed me that though mans plans fail, He never fails. Though our hearts may grieve, He is always there. When we have nothing left but to hope in Him, we realize that is all we need.

I told Ryan that i feel like David, like i had been hiding in a cave crying out to the Lord for His mercy and strength to face the unknown on the outside. And now the Lord is commanding me to come forth from hiding and speak His name.. He grew Sophia (wisdom) in my cave and now i must come out and declare Elizabeth(GOD is my oath).

So there you have it. My sweet sweet beautiful baby is one and I think often of His goodness when I look at her sweet face. I feel so thankful. Thankful for my babies, health and thankful for the Lord choosing me to walk through that particular pregnancy. He is good and He is faithful always in the darkest of nights or the brightest of days. 
Blessings, sweet friends.