Living In Season

Hi guys. I hope you are all well wherever you are. We have been enjoying this holiday season and feel so blessed. The Lord has been laying on my heart of a new blog about seasons and finally got around to sitting down and typing it out. It’s the word that has been percolating in the body around me and worth meditating on.

Well..I've got 5 kids now. Its been fun and crazy. Joey is 4 months old and we just really love him. He is a extra “healthy” boy and gets lots of extra snuggles, hugs and kisses. (sometimes unwontedly) I am so blessed; my heart is so full. Joseph’s name came from a word we got last year that we were in a Joseph season. (like Joseph in the bible) When we got pregnant in this season unexpectedly we knew that he would be Joseph. It took us weeks to get used to this unexpected surprise. I felt different this pregnancy than I did about any of the others. I was praying about him and the Lord gave me the word “to set apart”. Isn't that funny, thats what happened to Joseph in the bible. So this transition has been different than all the others. Four kids broke up a lot of ground in me. It was tough man. took me a long while to learn how to function in real life. I think a lot of why it has been easier with the transition to 5 is because he broke up a lot of that fallow ground with 4.

Hosea 10:12 (ESV)

Sow for yourselves righteousness;

    reap steadfast love;

    break up your fallow ground,

for it is the time to seek the Lord,

    that he may come and rain righteousness upon you.

I have felt with Joey so much blessing and covering. I mean, yeah, its crazy and hard but its so so good and sweet. I feel the love of the Savior on me. I know I did during the breaking up season as well. The Lord disciplines those He loves. I know there will be more breaking to come but I just want to encourage you to embrace your season (hug the heck out of it! Like pastor Sam said) Whether the Lord is breaking up your fallow ground or sowing righteousness in your readied soil, He is good and there is so much purpose for it.

My now season:

 I was talking to Ryan the other day of how I feel at the end of the day. I feel full and blessed but also I am in a season now of knowing I don't have a lot of extra to give at the end of a day or really during the day. I’m just enough for what He's called me to and only because He's given me enough. I know how to obey and I know how to hear and abide but if our spiritual significance was based on extensive bible studies or hours spent in meetings and prayer closets then I would fall miserably short. 

As I was telling Ryan about this I had this picture of me on a journey with this narrow dirt path and I had set down on the way on this giant boulder on the side of the road to rest. In my mind I was trying to talk myself into getting up, but as I scaled back in the picture I noticed how the sun rays were shining down all around and on me and ministering to my body and soul. I just realized that I wasn't failing, I was exactly where the Lord had me. He put that rock(himself) there for me to rest on and He also was ministering to me with those son-rays (see what i did there=) as I set exactly where he had me in this season. It shifted my heart from thinking I wasn’t doing enough or giving enough but was exactly where he wanted me and I could feel His love for me, ministering to me. My heart shifted from feelings of inadequacy and failure to peace. I do believe that it is only in a place of peace that we can truly move in faith to the next place in the journey whether that be a sprint, walk or maybe a boulder just ahead. I do know that it wasn't till I had peace and submitted to my season that I felt any encouragement or strength to even think about moving. 

As I was sitting in service this morning, I was beginning to feel that weight and condemnation from the enemy of me sitting on that rock and not moving. I mean I was not going to unreached places and sharing the gospel, not having a lot of discipleship meetings or telling the world about Jesus. You know whats cool though? Our Lord takes the lies and death from the enemy and frees us with His truth, purpose and Will for our lives. I almost immediately had that picture of me on a narrow dirt path sitting on a boulder in the sun but this time I was surrounded by 5 little people all snuggled in close to me. All of us basking in the Son. (see there i did it again) What a sweet sweet season. What a sweet sweet picture. I may not be talking to strangers about Jesus every day or traveling to unreached people groups to share the gospel but I have 5 little people that are all around me and I'm teaching and telling them in our little world about Jesus. And also just by being obedient in my season to soak in Jesus (the sun/Son) and let Him minister to us. If I didn't submit to my season then I would be sitting there struggling and not enjoying the sweetness of the season, not teaching my kids what it is to bask in the presence of the Lord.

So thats my season, folks. I may not be doing great things or moving great crowds by any bit of elegant speech or knowledge of things but i’m basking in the presence of the King with my 5 gifts nestled next to me. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll learn to rest and feel the warmth and comfort of the Savior because of it.

What season are you in? I once heard a preacher say, “Life is not so enduring when you are listening for and obeying a fresh word from the Lord.” What is your fresh word in season? Are you struggling to stay afloat while the Lord uses a storm to break up fallow ground? We know that God works all things for His good to those who love Him and are called according to HIs purpose. HE IS WORKING GOOD. Or are you getting to reap blessing from those spiritual seeds planted because the fallow ground was broken up? Or at a place where you just don't have enough strength to take another step and need to just bask in the presence of Jesus for a while. I promise you whether you think you are doing something worthwhile or not, if you are submitting to your season then the Lord can and is moving through you and in you and sometimes it just might be through those 5 little kids snuggled next to you. 

Love you all my sweet sweet brothers, sisters in Jesus. IF YOU DON’T KNOW/FOLLOW JESUS THEN I WILL TELL YOU NOW, HE IS WORTH IT. HE IS GOOD AND THERE IS NO LIFE WORTH LIVING WITHOUT HIM. I CAN TESTIFY TO HIS GREATNESS. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS and may Jesus be your reason for every season!

Peace and blessings from a crazy quiver full to you and yours

Babies, life with littles, rocking 7 and school

Just realized the last post I had posted when I was taking my 2 hour glucose test. Well, I failed that miserably and after about a week of wallowing In myself and mourning my health, I found purpose in walking through it in Jesus. In my pregnancy with Sophia, it was a type of blind faith in walking through. I didn't know if she would be whole when she was born or what her health was. I had to trust in Him that He knew and would take care of her. Well, this pregnancy was different, it was my body not the baby that I had to trust in Him in. With gestational diabetes, a bout of kidney stones and a struggle to regulate my thyroid hormone, I was put at my weakest physically. Isn't it like Him to make us weak so we can be reminded of how strong He is. I think it was in that season that I learned to thank Him for showing us how much we truly need Him. For making us to need Him.
I surely and truly need Him. I can't handle my own crazy on my own let alone anything this world has to offer.
Well, Joseph is here and we are all healthy and doing well. So far 5 has been an easier transition than 4 was. 4 was a struggle and game changer for me, with 5 I feel like I'm playing the same game just at a new level. It's not overwhelming as much as it is just busier. It's like trying to keep serenity while giving a bunch of cats a bath or herding circus monkeys around. Haha. No, it's really no different than having a couple, just like I said a little busier. I just count heads all day:)
I find that once you submit to something, it becomes easier. Like a clear word from the lord, you submit and it's not as much a struggle because there is no other option. 5 kids is my blessed word from the Lord this season, homeschooling is my word from the Lord, living in Kansas is my word from the Lord and so much more. It's a simple as saying Yes to Jesus and letting him guide you(sometimes carry) and bless you through.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes it sucks, sometimes it's a breaking and sometimes I want to give back some of the blessings(not the kids... well, most of the time;) but it's in those moments that I find shine the most in knowing that He is enough and He is worth it.  Here is a little breaking point I had one day after Joey was up all night....

"One of those days where I could easily slip into that place of whining and focusing on the hard things of living away from my family....was sitting here having one of those moments when I hear the lord whisper to me, "Am I worth it?". Immediately I know the answer- Yes, Lord, you are worth it. You are worth every hard day and worth every good day. You are worth every mile apart and every sacrifice, You are worth weeks between hugs from Mimi and papa and aunts and uncles and sleepless nights turned to busy days. HE IS WORTH IT.  My hormones will mellow and my sleep will get better and my God will be just as faithfully worth it when it's easy as He was when it was hard. Thankful that we serve a God who is worth it. Xoxo.  He has shifted my heart from weary and worry to peace and praise. Amen"

I started this blog while sitting in the optometrist office getting my 'bigs' eyes checked for school. We've managed to try to jump back into life again. We've accomplished doctors, dentist, eye exams, Walmart and field trips on our own. I haven't even lost anyone yet. The bigs are great helps. So thankful for my big girls. The lord knew what He was doing when He gave me them first.  Anyway we are starting school this week. So excited about it, the Lord has changed my perspective and giving me a new vision and word and I can't wait to walk it out. It's good to be in the will of the Lord, folks.  Read this quote the other day and it truly inspired me.

"Every choice you make in life(including homeschool-related decisions) is motivated either by faith or by fear. Fear-riven choices always bear bitter fruit. Don't homeschool or choose a curriculum because of fear! Make every choice based on faith- and thenTRUST the God who has called you to homeschooling. He is MORE than sufficient to make you successful!!"
 -Steve and Jane Lambert

Here is a message I sent to a sister that depicts our first day today: 

"We started school today. Morning time is our heart of school(+with fiar{five in a row}) later with abeka as our nuts and bolts.  Been listening to podcast from the link you sent, feeling inspired. 😀 woke up with a migraine trying set in, Ryan's truck broke down so have had to load up kids twice and go help him, Sophia and Joseph are both wanting to be held. 😂😂😂 We did it tho, even if a box of cheeseits are poured out on the floor in the den and my house has been taken over by tiny Lego pieces that will most likely get lost until found by a bare foot. 😁😆 It'll get better and flow more smoothly but ain't nothing gonna keep us down today:)"

She told me I should blog about it- so this me being obedient.  The thing is that if I woke up this morning without a vision, without faith for walking out homeschooling a k4, 1st and 2nd grader(with a 1 year old and infant) I would have given up, had a panic attack, cried and probably ate a lot of chocolate. Ok, I still may have eaten a lot of chocolate either way, but because I felt the prompting and the stirring of the Lord Jesus inside me to do this I could take it all in with a peace and faith that every little thing was gonna be alright. And you know what?! It was, It is and It will be because He said so. It might not be easy or pretty and might hurt like heck(like stepping on a tiny Lego barefoot) but in Faith all things are possible. I'm so thankful for faith to walk when I just can not see it, hear, feel, taste or smell it on my own. 
I hope if you are feeling weak, worn and in fear or doubt that you'll hear from heaven a fresh vision to be on mission for Jesus. No matter what it is, he can turn the fear into faith. It's as simple as saying yes, folks. It really is.

 Hugs and kisses from the Vandenberg 7
 yeah I said 7, guys
 Phew...  We are truly blessed.


Here are a few school pictures. Oh my heart, they grow too fast.

The youngest two scholars don't really do much but make messes but they are pretty cute=)

Sent from my iPhone

The power in weakness...

Well, here I am sitting in labs waiting to draw blood for my glucose test after drinking the nasty fruit punch flavored syrup.  Almost 30 weeks with #5... 5! How does that happen, well I know how it happened but can't believe we are fixing to have 5 little blessings from the Lord. How'd I deserve this, how did God see me capable of walking out 'mommy' to this many gifts.  I was reading my daily proverbs(chapter 14 for June 14) and came across verse 4-''Where there are no oxen the manger is clean,  but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox."   Ha! It's a good thing thing that a clean crib is not a requirement to keep your oxen, we all know I wouldn't pass that test if it was.:)  I don't think my crib has been clean in 7 years.  😅   But what stands out today is the ' abundant crops come by strength of the ox.'   You see folks, I'm a rat tailed mess. After 4 kids I remember going through the 'I have no ability whatsoever to do this on my own' phase. It was a hard humbling season of being brought low to a new level and learning to look up and let God help me. He did help me and I began to get my feet under me and walk life with being a momma of 4. .... Well then this little thanksgiving surprise came along.(we have so much to be thankful for.😜 ) and well, let's just say we are still relishing in some 'shock and awe' of it all.  There was seismic shift that occurred in this pregnancy that is different than the others though.... Guys, I've seemed to loose all control of my hormones.  I mean, pregnancy is not a new thing for me but this seemed like a whole new ball game. My hormones were and are still at times so incredibly unpredictable and indecisive that I would even take myself by surprise at times.  I could go from laughing to crying in 1 second flat, from sweet angel to raging demon in .5 seconds flat.  It was bad guys. Ask Ryan or better yet maybe ya'll should gather around him and pray for his safety and endurance.... No. Joke. Start a support group, card shower or something...   About mid trimester I started to get into this dark place of depression... Listen, I'm no spring chicken Christian, I've been at this for a while and the stuff that was coming out of me was ugly, folks, real ugly.  I began to question my walk with Him and doubt the place the Lord had me in. My thoughts and prayers were like this, "Lord,  how can I be so wretched, shouldn't I be pass this stuff in my life. How evil is my heart, Jesus?"  I muddled in this for a long while ...about half of my pregnancy until I heard a simple quote from a sermon. The preacher was talking about struggling with his mess and crying out to God.  And the Lord revealed to Him (paraphrase)-"brother, your floor is clean, I'm just digging into those dark corners where the dust bunnies and cob webs hide. I'm using this obvious weakness in you to clean those dark spots that are hidden."  Wow. Breath. of. fresh. air.   The Lord sweetly hugged me right then and there. He wasn't ashamed of me for where I was and all the ugly that was coming out in my weakness.. He was using this weakness to draw out hidden areas in my heart. Those things that I was able to restrain or repress on a normal basis were bubbling out when I was at my weakest point. He somehow gave me the grace to shift from a place of feeling like I deserved rejection and shame to a place of  having the ability and grace to thank Him for this weak season to use to sweep out those cobwebs in the corners.
So when you' feel broken and humbled by your mess of self take the time to shift to a place of thankfulness, believing that God is powerful in your weakness. Mind you, sin is still sin and we need to have repentant hearts but to be able to take the focus off how wretched we are and how mighty He is and you will find strength and grace to walk more intimately with Him. Oh, He is good, friends.
I had a friend share with me in this same season of how it felt like she was just trudging through the muck, staring at her feet. Isn't that how motherhood feels sometimes? I can so relate to this.  I Find myself so easily getting caught up in the 'never getting caught up', just trudging through that mucky place of life. Trying to get ahead of the laundry and seeking to sow seeds into my children and not always seeing fruit. I heard a sister share a word she had received the other day when she felt like it was all just a waste of time. Her word was the Lord asking her "Would you be willing to sow seeds in a barren field and walk away, trusting Me to be the one who grows it?" WOW! Whether your fruit basket is full of weeds you are picking or the fruits of your sowing and God growing, take heart that the Lord is the one who breathes life into any living thing. (I sometimes feel that raising/growing disciples in kids is 93% pulling weeds and 7% sowing seeds=) I wonder if God feels the same sometimes....
 I'm weak folks. I'd rather sit in my pjs all day, drink coffee and hide in my corner(with chocolate) than to have life, deal with kids and for goodness sakes clean anything. I want to take naps all day. I shut down about 8 o'clock every night and want to speak to no one and just sit in a bubble bath and then go straight to bed. My kids understand and can use correctly the phrase "hormones out the wazoo".  The list can go on and on but for the sake of time and humility I'll stop there;).  I just want to encourage you all out there, if you are feeling at your weakest or at your strongest or even somewhere in-between: GOD DOES NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE OR ANY LESS BASED ON HOW GOOD YOU ARE. HE LOVES YOU THE SAME AND SEES YOU AND IS JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO LET HIM CLOAK YOU IN LOVE.  It wasn't till I let the Lord free me from guilt from the enemy that i was able to get passed these struggles and weaknesses. I'm so thankful now for the opportunity to be weak, I'm so thankful that He keeps me close to Him and keeps me reminded that I need Him. He is good, He is good and His love it never fails.
*The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you maintain my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, i have a beautiful inheritance.-psalm 16:5&6
If I have any encouragement to you its to let go of the struggle of being weak and let his strength keep you and guide you, have faith to keep sowing those seeds even in your weaknesses and trust Him to bring fruit and to maintain those fields. Who knows how many seeds are being sown into your heart at the same time....God is never dormant, He is always working, because HE IS GOOD.

{Hugs} from our circus to yours! Love you all. May the Lord bless your socks off!